Jan Porter, Author, blog, Best Seller, amazon, kindle, Canada, writer
It's time to rally & mend the rift of misogyny & sexual abuse; shining a light on a hidden epidemic!
With the uprising on many current event issues, I aim to shine a little light on an underlying hidden epidemic!
While the tsunami wave of old mindsets makes a lame effort to overpower, suppress and oppress spirits, take comfort in knowing that even greater numbers of good people around the globe are rising ~ in unison. For those holding out and whether you are conscious or aware, it is a wake up call to shake off fear and stand tall!
Prophecies tell us that we are entering a new era, the return of the 'divine feminine'. While that sounds hopeful, it may feel abstract if you are still, like many, steeped in the after math of sexual abuse.
You are not alone!
The Justice Institute of British Columbia via Rape Victims Support Network, www.assaultcare.ca, 2013 states that:
Sexual abuse does not limit itself to one age, gender, class or culture.
It is a global issue and it is a social issue that affects us all.
Sexual trauma is a result of many variables, such as; a by-product of misogyny; a dislike or contempt for women or vulnerable people. Sexual assault differs from other forms of assault; it can be a deeply personal, isolating and intimate journey. Left unhealed, psyche damage can segue into a spiritual dark night of the soul and further handicap mind, body and soul. Unchecked, it can bring a sense of isolation and disconnect from our own soul's higher wisdom and connection with all that is good with the rest of the world. Handicapped, our wiring trauma frazzled, it can run interference with lifes' other challenging adversities and rudely slam solution doors closed like a powerful storm, further ripping away a part of our spirit. All sense of stability and normality stunted, it can interfere with our ability to function effectively. Like an angry earthquake, one minute we feel calm and healed, the next; a trigger is switched and we may feel out of control and unable to gather our bearings, re-living aftermath shock waves.
Whether you are a survivor or someone you care about is, know that we are all amidst numerous survivors in any given group. Know that during the natural healing process, as you begin to settle, you can naturally, albeit slowly, gain equilibrium and objectivity. You may always be confronted with the shadow aspects of life, it is a part of the natural healing process, for its impact to lessen over time. Yet, it is in this shadowy place, this contrast, a new sense of self wants to emerge. With some information; wise and objective insights; a more mature sense of who you really are and your place in the world, brings new confidence and life. It is within these life-defining moments that you begin a new chapter in life, as new authentic perceptions of who you really are evolves, offering profound change and soul growth from the inside out. Thus is the solo healing journey, yet, remember; you are not alone. Because it is such a deeply intimate trauma, it is pretty hard not to take the assault personally. Yet, this is one of the key challenges.
Beyond the personal healing journey, we are still battling the bigger picture; considering the mind blowing statistics, stated earlier, you must understand how pervasive this issue is.
It is time for open dialogue. We must ditch the personal shame and social stigmas surrounding this issue. It is time to address those hard social questions of how we are educating our children, supporting survivors, responding legally and assisting all involved. It is time to also acknowledge those higher holistic and spiritual aspects of the healing journey. I am a supporter of free and whole education. Information is power. Those spiritual otherworldly questions have been typically void in traditional counselling, yet I believe, essential to our healing journey.
I am pushing sixty and I can tell you, it is my post menopausal and passionate desire to live long enough to see the above statistics; drop. These statistics are mind blowing, simply because they have not lessened in the forty years of my social services career.
On average, "1 in 4 of us are survivors of sexual abuse in some capacity and 1 woman is raped every 17 minutes in Canada." With a daughter, daughter in law and granddaughter in my life, it is time to take a stand and share your insights and wisdom. I share, simply because I wish I had known what I know now, when I was young. Hence the books that I have written on the matter and free You Tube healing videos.
I have walked many, many miles in my own journey and now with the fortitude of post menopause (chuckle as you may), brings a very different objective sense of discerning grace, faith, passion and confidence. What I do know for certain is that healing of self and loving of self is the sacred key to fulfillment which ripples outward positively affecting life and those around you; through your past and ancestral lineage, now and for future generations.
It began with me; in ditching cultural and religious beliefs, I began to honour and audaciously self-care, which is the best anecdote to carrying old garbage which serves no good to self or others. So, if you are still in survivor mode, stop assuming other people's shit and making it yours. Tough words, sounds simple and yet with practices, you will be able to see it for what it is; a bizarre and narcissistic manipulation. Often perpetrators are someone we know and care about and separating ourselves from them and their assault of you, can be a challenge, yet necessary to heal.
Hmmmm . . . we are all unsung heroes and heroines just for giving this earthly existence a go and fumble through life, blind to the bigger picture.
Like many aging women, my menopausal re-wiring throws a passionate curve ball into my tolerance levels of other people's nonsense. We post menopausal gals lose tolerance for insincerity and long for harmony, passionate love, laughter and fulfillment. We are fed up and we sincerely want to leave the world a better place for our children's children.
It is a tall order. Statistics have remained a constant estimated one in four are survivors of sexual trauma. These numbers are staggering! This has been a continuous massive ripple effect that affects all of us, including the pain and harm within the psyche of offenders. From a broader perspective, sexual assault has been a shadow aspect of civilization since time recorded, often used as a war tactic to kick out a culture’s stability at its pillars; women, children and the vulnerable. Societal judgments and out dated religious morals concerning sexual modes of conduct and behaviours are often deeply ingrained. Sometimes the most beautiful things grow in the most inhospitable of environments.
You can consciously choose to live to your own highest potential and make self care and self love a priority; which in turn, positively affects all our lives and others in unimaginable ways. While healing is primarily a solo journey, take a smidgen of comfort in knowing that there a millions of other in the same boat.
Why on earth is sexual assault, still a social issue in our global society? How on earth have we become so disconnected and isolated from believing in a loving higher power, our own innate goodness and each other? It boggles my mind. I wish for and envision that I may live long enough to see the issue as ancient history in this life time and that any residue harmful effects are not carried through into our children’s generations yet to be. This is prophecy; a return of the feminine care giving mentally.
I would like you to know that there is much freedom to be found in simply taking a moment to notice that ninety-eight percent of what you felt about someone imposing harm upon you; does not belong to you. Stop, close your eyes for a moment and bring to mind a hurtful exchange and ask yourself, how much of this is really mine?
We have much to teach our children of self worth and navigating life intuitively. The adage holds true; that if we taught children how to honour themselves and others, meditate and harvest innate intuition, the world can rapidly transform in one generation.
You are here at this crossroad in life, because your soul is calling you to grow, to love yourself, to follow the path of doing what you are passionate about, do what makes you feel fulfilled; activities that inspire you.
I want you to know that you are stronger than you know and give yourself credit for. Your happiness is sacred and your body, mind, feelings and contributions to the world are your own personal sacred space.
I wish for you to be good to yourself, to reach out to a support person(s) or group, to heal and grow at your own pace. Remember that; love is the way out; love of self and love your life as it is. Always allow your childlike wonder, quirky authentic self to shine with gratitude, love and laughter.
As a woman who has been there and done that, I personally wish you loving comfort, laughter, warmth of good friendships and to always see the good in the world. I wish you faith, hope, grace, acceptance, confidence, insight and courage.
Blessings on your journey!
By: Jan Porter, seasoned spiritual author of: “Sacred Space, body mind and soul after sexual abuse” amazon.com, Lulu.com “Life After Abuse, a practical healing guide for survivors”, www.inspiredsoulworks.com, Twitter, GoodReads.com